A Message of Hope & Love & Alchemy
Regular readers of TW know that we get a lot of mail, comments, etc. and we try very hard to answer as much as we can.
And sometimes we get stuff that we just don't know what to do with like this email below.
This was passed along to us along with a request to post with the thinking being that it might help others. Apparently various versions of this have been circulating on the Net's for sometime now but this isn't our scene, thankfully.
Please take a moment to consider the following from Croatia...
Hope is defined as “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen”.We know a lot of folks out there are in pain. All we can say is pack up and get out as fast as you can and go as far as you can. True friends and love will find you. Those "secrets" are merely lies told to you to keep you locked in your situation. Break on through to the other side.
I believe whomever took over this planet created this word and it’s meaning. Hope is often used in religious sermons. Obama used the word in his campaign for President: I believe he used the word Hope along with Change. Our president Ivo Josipovic also used the same slogans and I guess people like to “feel” hopeful so they voted for him. A few weeks ago he made a speech and said he wanted to give “hope” to the Croatian people and not debt. So, I wrote him a letter and asked him to stop using that word, we don’t want and need hope, we need jobs, we need better healthcare, etc., etc.
I hoped my mother would not grab me by the hair when she was angry at me, or when I brought home a lousy report card. How can a child have good grades when both parents remind her she will never amount to anything? Each day of my first sixteen years of life, I hoped my parents would stop abusing me. On my 16th birthday, as soon as I was legally able to leave home without the police bringing me back, I grabbed my things, put them into my Vauxhaull and sped off while my parents were at work. I never looked back, but I kept hoping my younger sister, who was 1eleven years old at the time would talk to me one day. My parents told her the day I ran away that I pushed my father down the stairs and he suffered a heart attack and then I ran away. My father was not home when I ran away, but my parents needed to blame me for their shame. Being Croatian and living in a very religious community, it was a shame for a child to leave home, so he told everyone that he threw me out of the house because I attacked him.
I was sexually molested at the age five, being watched by a neighbor while my parents as new immigrants worked a lot. I kept hoping that my mother would stop working so that this man would not hurt me anymore, but she kept working. I was raped by a man that worked for my father when I was twelve years old. I had a crush on him, he took advantage of that; he was twenty-four years old. For years I never thought of it as rape, I felt responsible, but eventually I realized that I was under age, a little girl and he was an adult and should have known better. I hoped that he would never tell my parents because their punishments were brutal.
I married the first man that paid attention to me, who didn’t leave me after having sex. What did I know about love? I thought by having sex with a man that I would get love in return. My parents didn’t prepare me for the world, and I didn’t have very good role models either. I never saw my parents say a nice word to each other, sit beside each other, let alone kiss each other.
I had two children with this man, our marriage lasted five years because he abused me, I lost a child in between the two because he got drunk one night and kicked me in the stomach. I hoped the police wouldn’t ask me about it, because he said if I said anything that he would beat me some more.
During the birth of my son via a planned C-Section, my heart stopped. I was clinically dead for twelve minutes, flatlined I think you call it. I had an NDE experience, but not typical of the tunnel and stuff. It’s another story for another article and much too long to insert into this one.
After awakening from my coma which I was in for ten days, since I was hooked up to life support, I couldn’t talk so I gestured with my arms as if cradling a baby and the nurse told me she was going to go and get the baby. Doctors told my mother to get ready because they were not sure I would survive. After my heart stopped, they could not intubate me so they had to rush a tracheotomy, severed an artery and filled my lungs with blood. I hoped he was a boy — I wanted a boy. I had complications with both of my children because (finding out a few years ago), I was born with a severely deformed spine and pelvis. The babies got stuck in the pelvis, my heart stopped because of the spinal cord pressing on the heart.
After five years of marriage, I divorced my husband and ran away to Seattle WA, to complete my PhD in Psychology. I met a man there and he quickly moved in with us, I found out years after I left him that he had molested my daughter for three years. It started when she was eight and went on until she was eleven. Once my daughter realized he was not coming back, and we moved back to Canada, she felt safe enough to tell me. He claimed that he loved her, and that what he was doing was out of love. I moved in with my mother until I could find a place for myself and my children, but things got really hard and I attempted suicide with pain medications. I had suffered from pain most of my life, because my mother used to hit me over the back with a broomstick, telling me to straighten up. If only she took me to a doctor, I might not be living with chronic pain now.
My mother and daughter showed up in emergency just as I was fighting against having my stomach pumped. I kept telling the nurses that I wanted to die. It was very traumatic for my daughter to watch her mother in that condition.
I felt responsible for what happened to my daughter. I was so busy working on my PhD and working to support us, I never noticed the signs of abuse. I hoped that she would pull through this because I knew what it was like to be raped.
Just as I got my life together and my kids left home, just as I was working and making good money, I was diagnosed with Liver Cancer. Doctors didn’t give me much hope, but a colleague of mine referred me to a Chinese Doctor. He treated me, cured me and became my mentor and teacher. I have been working as a TCM practitioner for thirteen years.
Fast forward to twenty-five years later, looking back at my life, I am still amazed that I am “normal” today. It wasn’t easy, I spent thirty years of my life searching for truth. My NDE was necessary in order to awaken me; it went against everything my religion taught me. My priest told me it was the devil tempting me, although I couldn’t understand why the devil would have tempted me with love and light.
Hope is a meaningless word, it serves no purpose, it creates nothing. When we love, we love with intent. When we feel hungry, we eat. When we are sad we cry, but when we hope, we are nowhere and nothing happens. Hoping is like staring into empty space.
I no longer ”hope”, I even tell my clients after I tell them their healing will continue that hoping is giving their God all the power, and that they need to believe in their healing and not hope for it.
Why do we love to use the word hope so much?
We are taught and comforted with hope, it falsely creates the impression that if we feel hope, it’s a positive move towards whatever we are hoping for to realize. If you are hoping, you are not awakened yet. I can use “hope” in sentences or as a form of communication, but the dictionary defines it as “a feeling of expectation”. I hope you realize just how powerful you are. I didn’t know this at the time of all those traumas and events happening in my life over thirty years ago. But I know now that intuitively I knew who I was, but my parents, the priests, the teachers programmed me to believe that I was a piece of crap and that only God could save me. Yet I knew even as a small child looking out of my bedroom window on nights when I was punished for something, I would stare up to the stars and say “Please come and get me, I want to go home. Why did you leave me here, what have I done to deserve this hellhole?” This went on for years into my adult life, and it would perplex me to think and say that.
I believe we all know who we are when we come into this world, but the programming overwrites the program we come with and some people like myself get a reminder such as an NDE, and we start seeking and searching for our true identity, because nothing they teach us makes any sense, at least that is how I felt.
I can say that it isn’t psychology that helped me deal with my traumas growing up. The moment I realized who I was, the moment I pieced all the pieces to the puzzle together I understood why I chose the experiences that I did. Every single negative thought, emotion and memory of my past dissipated. Knowledge of GOD Creator “nous”, knowledge and understanding of who I was empowered me.
I, YOU, WE are so incredibly powerful and instead of “hoping” things will change, just know they will. Buddha said:”The only certainty in life is that nothing stays the same. Humans create their own suffering by living in the past and hoping things will change.” There is no need to hope for change because it’s already guaranteed through Universal Laws. We are eternal, immortal and beautiful. We are very powerful, and I hope that my story will inspire you to let go of words that keep us in one place, and help you to know and believe that change is coming, it’s the Law. It’s the Law of One, The Law of Attraction. Hope is like wishing, nothing happens but if you change your thought process, to know, it will come to you.
When I realized who I was, my life changed overnight. I no longer acted like a victim, no longer blamed anyone for my horrific experiences. Instead, I live in the moment, expect change and look forward to the changes taking place. Also, upon realization that I was a powerful being, a creator, my ego abandoned me. It no longer had a function in my life because I no longer use my mind to make decision; instead, I follow my heart and stay connected to my higher self.
When I look back at my life, I no longer wonder how I managed to get through; instead, I stand in AWE at the incredible human being that I always was and try to teach others how special they are. You see, it doesn’t take a psychologist to heal the traumas of our lives, it takes knowledge of who we are to put it all into perspective. That’s why people spend years in therapy, they may have a better understanding of why they behave or think in a certain way, but they still don’t know who they are. Not many psychologists will admit to this, and I am not saying they are not effective, I’m saying that they have no role in society. We are paid to listen, we have to follow rules that only allows us to be reactive and not proactive. There are no such things as mental illnesses, only wrong thoughts or incorrect perceptions. We are programmed from the day we take our first breath and are taught a set of rules that go against everything we stand for as human beings.
In 2004, I listened to my higher self, packed my bags and with a few thousand dollars in cash moved back to my country of birth, Croatia. I had no idea what I was going to do here and how I was going to live, I just knew it would work out. It has, I met the love of my life eight years ago, and he built me a beautiful home on a small island with 1500 population. I work when I want, eat when I want, sleep when I want and love when I want!
I know I had to come here for a reason, I know there is a reason for my moving here, I am being told to wait and prepare. When it starts, I will have my work cut out for me. I trust. I am ready.
I have to thank Stuart Wilde and his book “Whispering Winds of Change”. You have no idea how much that book changed my life and led me in the right direction. I am saddened that Stuart didn’t live long enough to see his book come true, but I am sure he is out there somewhere, smiling and celebrating. I came in contact with a psychic who told me I had Pleadean eyes, that I was an old soul and had lived over 300 lives on this planet, 80 lives as animals, 40 lives as plants and matter. Whatever the truth is in that is irrelevant, what matters is that we all chose to be here at this time, we the brave souls volunteered to help with the Ascension, the Event, the Changes. These are exciting times, and even if there was NOTHING to happen, I am prepared for anything that comes my way. I am ready for whatever happens because I know that this body is just a container for my experiences here on Earth. I have been in the LIGHT, I have felt the Love of the light, that place was familiar to me, I return there after each life, kiss Creator hello and goodbye.
It is my Alpha and Omega, I have a home away from home and I can’t wait to get off this planet and go back to wherever I am from. I never felt that I belonged here. I never let anyone control my life, I fought for justice, I could never understand why people kill each other, why we make wars, why we have to get a license/permission to drive. I believe it’s because I was a higher dimensional being and chose to come here for the Event. I think only the brave ones came here to go through this hellish experience we call 3D Earth. Change is here, it’s up to us how fast it will happen.
This is my story, my experiences, these are my perceptions and my reality. I am sure there will be those that may not agree with my reality, but it is MY reality, my experience. The purpose for sharing this story with you is because I come across so many souls who have time to whine and complain, but don’t have much time to do something about it. There are many of us who have gone through horrific experiences in our lives, but I am grateful for them because I believe I am a better human being for it.
There is no difference between Politics and Religion. They both work towards stripping humanity of their dignity. Neither one allow humanity to think for itself.
If anyone has suggestions for our friends who are hurting, please post a comment below.
Unconditional love and only unconditional love.
Be the alchemy.