Drunk Yet Sensitive Aussie Fans Storm Stage at Neil Young Concert

If you've been following the concert reviews coming out of the Neil Young & Crazy Horse tour down in Australia, you may have been scratching your head like us. As in, what's going on Down Under with these Neil fans?

We tried to take a stab at understanding it all with the recent post The Essence of "The Doubters": Neil Young & Crazy Horse Concert Reviews but made little head way... until this little gem popped up.

Here's a report on this weekend's Neil Young & Crazy Horse concert at A Day On The Green, Hunter Valley, AUS on Mar 9, 2013:

Drunk Yet Sensitive Aussie Fans Storm Stage at Neil Young Concert

March 10, 2013, Sydney, Australia

In what will be billed as the White Zin riot, crying and inebriated audience members at a Neil Young and Crazy Horse concert reacted violently to the perplexing and unfamiliar music they were confronted with at the "A Day On The Green" Festival in Hunter Valley.

"Crikey," sobbed Mel Cowhan, a retired petting zoo maintenance man, "I was 'ere wiff me missus, enjoying a gallon or two of some fine wine in a box, expecting to do a right-o sing along with Neil Young, at least the Neil Young I thought I knew, and what was this? Sounded like the aliens lifted up Uluru and dropped it gob smack on our 'eads, thas what!"

Incensed at what they felt was their right to demand the material that the artist was performing that night - "I came to hear all the hits and only the hits from "Harvest" and, uhh you know, "Horse With No Name" blurted Lilly McPie- a determined, though woozy and staggering clot of concert goers attempted to attack the stage to convince the "imposter" on stage to find the "real" Neil Young and make him perform. "I know you expect us to all behave like our ancestors, the drunken and violent prisoners who landed in Botany Bay in 1788. Yes, we're drunk tonight, and yes, we're certainly prone to violence." said Nigel Tusselwaithe as he hurled an empty Fosters can in the general direction of the stage and screamed "Play 'effin' "Old Man" you sods or I'll personally bugger you all!!", but, he continued, " We're also quite sensitive, indeed maudlin when we've been in our cups, and we demand sensitive music to calm our savage instincts. This audio bludgeoning is awakening something in us that we thought had been tamed with 200 years of sunshine, alcohol, and more immediate concerns like salt water crocodiles and poisonous snakes and spiders. Of course, not being in gaols in Britain also helped."

The mob was repulsed before they could even breach the outer perimeter of the General Admission zone by repetitive and crushing sonic shock waves. "Knocked me flat on me bum" mutttered Matilda Snopes as she crawled along on the festival grounds, "That, and the liter of tequila I just quaffed."

"If this was war Crazy Horse would be on trial for violating the Geneva Conventions on the use of sound as a weapon!" said Bertie Swiles, as he limped back towards his blanket and barbeque at the farther recesses of the festival grounds. "Anyways, I ate too much shrimp, and I'm thirsty for some more gin and I have to pee."

The mood of the evening was summed up by Lucy Blight and her sister, Drusilla, as they contemplated a musical world and (now former) idol they found confounding. "Well, he doesn't look like he did 40 years ago, and that is certainly unsettling. I mean, every time I play my Neil Young collection (consisting of "Harvest" ) the songs are just the same, so why can't he do that? You know, get a brown wig and a buckskin jacket and just make everything like 1972." said Lucy, with a wistful whine. Added Drusilla, sniffling, "I'll admit, I did try "Comes A Time" but it had that creepy song. "Look Out For My Love," so no more of that wild new stuff! Reminded me of Bobbie McSchwetty, my beau back then who I had to get a restraining order against. But I ended up marrying him! Of course, he doesn't look at all like he did in 1972....it's like he was eaten by an even drunker and immensely fatter version of himself."

Thanks Zuma Band! That's a priceless riot. Definitely helping us back off the ledge.

Some of these AUS reviews were starting to almost get the better of us. Imagine that...

More on the perplexing The Essence of "The Doubters": Neil Young & Crazy Horse Concert Reviews.

Or, at least Australia fans aren't as rude as Bridgeport, CT fans who find out what happens If You Text During a Neil Young Concert, This Could Be You.

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