Editor's Note: Due to the heat and poor eyesight, our Intrepid Chicago Reporter (ICR) John Kwit misses the "No Trespassing" signs on his walk up in the unspoiled Colorado hill country in an attempt to interview Neil Young (NY). This is his 42nd attempt to interview Neil in various locations since 1982.
Suddenly, he spots Neil by his barn.
This is John's story and an exclusive TW interview with Neil Young. Enjoy.
Dateline: Somewhere on a Mountaintop in Colorado's Rockies Mountains
***
Intrepid Chicago Reporter (ICR): Hey, careful with that axe, Eugene! Yes, you by the
barn! Got any water? I know it’s only the
end of March but it’s hotter than blazes up here. Must be global warming and
I’m parched.
Neil Young (NY): My name’s not Eugene. Who are you and how’d you know I
had an axe?
ICR: My name means nothing, but I know a Fender when I see
one.
NY: You know I was gonna’ drag you by your britches and haul
you feet-first back down the gravel road but I like your style. Sit down on
that log. I’ll go grab us both a cold
water.
ICR: Much obliged.
NY: (returning with 2 cold waters) Now what brings you up
here? I see you’re carrying a Steno notepad and a ballpoint pen.
ICR: (water slurping sound) Ahhhh. I’m here to interview you, Mr. Young. Didn’t
you get the letter I sent to Lookout Management?
NY: (wiping forearm of flannel shirt to mouth) I got
nothing.
ICR: Well, then let me just get started. I don’t want to
waste your valuable time.
NY: How’d you get directions to my place?
ICR: You gave them to me.
NY: I did?
ICR: Well, to be honest you gave them to everybody. If you play side 1 of your latest album (Talkin’
to the Trees) backwards it gives clear, step-by-step instructions on how to
get here.
NY: Well, I gotta’ talk to my manager about that. Hey, what news outlet are you with? One of the Big Guns: New York Times, Rolling
Stone Magazine?
ICR: Ha. Please. I’m an elderly, independent journalist beholden
to no-one seeking the truth and a scoop.
NY: Well, I’ll be
d*mned. You look familiar. We crossed paths before?
ICR: Crossed paths? I
got 44 solid years of following your career, buying your albums, seeing your
shows from the rail to the back-rafters, reading every news article and book I
could find related to you and your multiple band family trees. Then I started interviewing band members and
writing. We’ve had many words together
over the years, shook hands, had some belly laughs. But I gotta’ tell you, my
adventures are enough to get a fella’ divorced.
For some reason, my wife kept me and she never forgot that autograph you
signed for her in 2000 as she sat cross-legged on the ground with photo in-hand
outside the revolving door of the Indianapolis shopping mall where you exited
before playing a gig on the CSNY2K Tour. Remember that?
NY: Yes, I do, and she was very polite as I recall. Petite
too.
ICR: Shoot, yep, that’s her.
I’m sorry, let me re-focus on today’s interview.
NY: I’m a little picky on the topics I care to discuss. I’m still a little gun-shy after that Shakey
Biography. Sometimes interview questions
get too personal. What’s on your mind?
ICR: Well, before I
start the interview questions, I have an idea for you. I’m thinking of you and your family’s financial
security. What I’m proposing is a
massive, super-deluxe, limited-edition HEART OF GOLD Box Set featuring every
known official studio recording, outtake and live performance of that one
song. I’m guessing there’s at least 400 live
versions out there alone. So, if each
vinyl record could hold 44 minutes of music, at 4 minutes per song (that’s
including the pre and post-audience banter or guitar tuning musings) I figure
you’d need a 40 record box set. And it needs to come out on vinyl with
the best analog sources and then you can have the last side be blank and
feature a laser etching of something you hand-drew. And the kicker…the subtitle of the Box Set
is: It’s All The Same Song. What do you
think?
NY: It’s all the same
song?
ICR: Yeah, that’s one
of your most famous sayings, isn’t it? I
borrowed it from you.
NY: (shaking his head) It’s all the same song? I’m starting to rethink my idea of grabbing
you by your britches and hauling you feet-first back down the gravel road…but
only because of that remark about the laser etching. I’ve caught a lot of flack about those
blank-side etchings on previous releases and I’ve learned my lesson. The
limited-edition 40 vinyl record HEART OF GOLD Box Set is a fine idea. You know,
I beat the bootleggers by releasing my treasure trove of live and unreleased
material via the Archives. And now, with
this “It’s All the Same Song” idea, the sky’s the limit! I mean, if there’s a 40 Record Box set for
Heart of Gold, who’s to say I couldn’t put out a 22 Record ONLY LOVE CAN BREAK
YOUR HEART Box set or a 12 Record LIKE A HURRICANE Box Set. Shoot, I’ve got some kick *ss 23 minute
versions of that ditty in the vaults from 1977 that nobody’s heard that’ll make
your ears ring for weeks. Frankly, I
don’t know why my people or I didn’t think of this “It’s All The Same Song” Box
Set concept first. You want to work on
my Archives Team?
ICR: Much obliged, but I’ll have to pass. I’m already
working two jobs to make ends meet and I’m trying to finish up a stellar career
in Federal Service on a high note.
NY: Well, the door is always open. You mentioned you were looking for a scoop. Since
you were so kind to share the “It’s All the Same Song” idea with me, I got a
doozy of a scoop for you. You know a lot
folks across the pond are disappointed that I cancelled a European Tour in
2026. I have a tendency to change my
mind, have you noticed that?
ICR: Well, now that you…
NY: I was gonna save this secret 2026 Tour announcement for
one of those huge mega-media websites, with the sponsorship of a prominent
organization where I could get the most exposure…
ICR: You mean like Classmates.com sponsored by…
NY: No, even bigger than that.
ICR: I can’t fathom it.
Spill the beans, man.
NY: OK, here goes. So, some people have been encouraging me
to do one of those Cruise Ship Music Tours. But who wants to be stuck on a boat with the
Oak Ridge Boys, you know what I mean?
Plus, if I’m not feeling the vibe on night 5 out in middle of the
Atlantic how am I going to bail? Jump
into a lifeboat with a trolling motor and hope for the best?
ICR: Eat a peach, indeed!
I hear ya.
NY: So I saw this ad in the latest AARP (formerly the American Association of Retired Persons) magazine offering a 10% discount on Amtrak travel for seniors and this whole vision just crystalized before my very eyes. A train tour, through-out the United States, stopping at all the former great little small town depots where my fans can see me and the Chrome Hearts plug in, outdoors, in the sunshine with nary a care in the world.
And even if the depot is no longer there, there’s gotta be a electrical outlet somewhere where we can plug in, either at the local garage, five and dime, or town-square gazebo. You ever been to Hamlet, North Carolina; Pretty Prairie, Kansas; Antioch, Illinois?
ICR: I’ve been everywhere, man, I’ve been everywhere. Have you thought about the logistics, like food for the crowds? (tapping pen on Steno pad)
NY: Everything will be organic and if needed, it’ll be
trucked in by electric vehicles. And the
prices will be competitive, not like what you see at these indoor arenas
charging $5 for a hot dog. Ain’t that a
crime?
ICR: Well the prices at the Neil Young Village on your last
tour were…
NY: Can I interrupt? The one exception will be Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.
I gotta’ have those. My roadies got mad
at me on the last tour, I think it was near Milwaukee, because I was scarfing a
bag after our final number while the crowd was going wild and then I grabbed Hank
William’s old guitar for the encore and I forgot to wipe my hands clean. My guitar tech and roadies had a devil of a
time getting that red powdery stuff off, you know what I mean?
ICR: (tapping pen on Steno notepad) It’s all a bit much for me to take in. What I
really want to know is…
NY: Can I interrupt, again?
I want this tour to really show my love for the fans, that’s why I’ll be
encouraging fans to book a roomette on Amtrak so you can share the ride with
me. All I ask is for everyone to be considerate of their hot water usage so we
can all take a decent shower. We can hang out late at night after the gigs,
play cards or board games while looking out the observation car windows. I’ll have my guitar and I encourage others to
bring theirs too. And I’d really like
somebody to bring an armonica. You know,
that glass instrument ol’ Ben Franklin designed.
ICR: I know a fella’ who…
NY: Oh, and let’s talk autographs. I’m known as an extremely
private guy and I’ve been pretty stingy with autographs for the last decade or
so, but folks, listen, just bring me your items: Posters, photos, instruments, tour
programs, my books, your forearm. You bring it and I’ll gladly sign it.
ICR: You mean you’ll sign those 2 items I’ve been lugging
around for the last ten years?
NY: Of course. Do you have them on you now?
ICR: No. (tapping pen on Steno notepad)
NY: Well that’s a d*mn shame. Wait a minute. That tapping noise you keep making has a very
distinctive sound. I need to capture
it. Kind of cross between Jim Keltner,
Johny Barbata and Chad Cromwell, you know, a few great fella’s who’ve kept the
beat for me on and off over the years.
You got a few minutes you can spare with me?
ICR: Sure.
NY: (yelling to the nearby cabin) Honey, bring the camcorder! I want to record a song. (Rushes out into the barn and returns with a trusty
acoustic guitar). I want to record
another version of Heart of Gold right now, with you on the Steno notepad. Are you in the musician’s union?
ICR: No, but I’m in two other unions. Just list me as uncredited.
NY: Great. Give me a
minute to think of the tuning. It might
be in G.
(And that’s how the Steno notepad version got on the 40
record Heart of Gold Box Set)
The End
John Kwit
Intrepid Chicago Reporter
Post script: Look for Neil Young this summer on Amtrak at a depot near you. You never know, he may also make an unannounced appearance as an unassuming railroad buff on this summers historic Big Boy No. 4014 locomotive first-ever coast to coast tour in honor of America’s 250th anniversary. The Big Boy No. 4014 is a 1.2 million pound locomotive and is one of a handful of Big Boy engines built to haul heavy equipment during World War II. Exact dates and locations for the Big Boy tour are not yet available.
Thank you John for the TW exclusive! Your standard remittance is in transit.
April Fools we Americans are in the US, for allowing things to spiral this far out of control with our idiot king. Now he can leave Iran. He doesn’t need to open the Straight of Hormuz.
ReplyDeleteNo problem! Brash & bold, this guy has no idea the world economy just got ruined. No sweat! Him and his friends will buy it up for Pennies on the dollar!
And here we are at the last bastion of free speech here in the internet. Much Gratitude to my friend & brother, Thrasher, for keeping this little niche ecosystem growing & living organically, free of advertising & censorship.
Thrasher is a hero of mine for keeping this blog running till the lights go out (& a bit longer even after perhaps).
The silver seed is loading but ists only billionaires & fam & crew. Never mind the intense radiation of space. Cancer will kill you in just a few years but never mind. Pretend you can leave Mother Earth behind. Your fools errand to populate mars will have us living in caves, wishing for a world like the one we already have.
Fossils fuels are to blame. The cause of war,
I hope the UFO’s come soon and save Earth from man .
But in the mean time, let’s be decent people who would give food to a stranger.
Your Brother Alan in Seattle
President Donald Trump plans to sit in on Wednesday's Supreme Court hearing on birthright citizenship, making him the first sitting president to attend oral arguments at the nation's highest court.
DeleteI N T I M I D A T I O N
Also: The “Pottery Barn Rule” is no more….
Pottery Barn rule out, Trump’s ‘I broke it, you fix it’ rule in. “If the world needs oil, they can go get it for themselves”.
Happy April Fools Day?
NOT.
Neil’s AARP summer train gigs! I already bought mine, hook, line & sinker! Happy 4/1!
ReplyDeleteYBAiS
1st, thanks to ICR John for taking on the annual TW April Fool challenge.
ReplyDeleteMany are called, few are chosen.
More of our ICR's tales from the TW Vault @
Farm Aid 2025 Report: Forty Days and Forty Nights and Forty Years
Undressing Rock & Rolls Most Famous Cover-Up: Stephen & Neil’s Shared Sweater (Serape/Poncho)
A CSNY Family Weekend Featuring The Our House Band and Calvin "Fuzzy" Samuel
And, of course, our thanks to Brother Alan. Always out on the streets when not out supporting TW.
Lastly, Herb and his world. Thanks for being on your toes with the April Fool's tease.
As for 2027? TW has plans, but if you've got a creative idea, you have a year to execute.
#KORITFW
#TryToRememberPEACE
And there's this ...
DeleteSo it's finally happening - Neil Young is planning a solo tour in Europe in 2026
https://www.rusted-moon.com/2026/04/neil-young-tour-2026-europa.html
@ herbsworld - that's a pretty good AF joke. yeah, we can see it now.
ReplyDeleteTrump stands up in SC and yells "YOU'RE FIRED". Hilarious.
The joke's on US, alright. US = United States
and today is the one day of the year, we rest.
Deletewe unplug, and don't bother separating the wheat from the chaff.
April 1 = Chaff Day @ TW
and Happy 2022 ARC Day , as well !
Kick up your heels! I have decided to move to DC. I will let you know when I get there. I am walking the whole way. Enjoy your day!
DeleteYour Brother Alan in Seattle
Haha, well done John Kwit and Thrasher. Made me laugh, which is welcome these days..
ReplyDeleteIt's now the 2nd April, which is the 50th anniversary of my first Neil show at the great but long gone Glasgow Apollo. Nice to see Neil commemorating this and the London Hammersmith shows on NYA and by showing Across The Water all week in the Hearse Theatre.
I had hoped to mark this milestone by seeing Neil again in Glasgow this summer, but sadly it's not to be. I can always eat a peach instead I guess. To be honest I was more surprised when the tour was announced than when it was cancelled. Just hope they are all healthy and well.
Never would have thought 50 years ago I would still be enjoying Neil's music today, and be able to watch and listen to performances from that tour, and even the final encore from the Glasgow show itself. Hard to believe really.
So tonight I will be having a glass or two of wine to celebrate and watching and listening to Across The Water and Odeon Budokan. Oh and I will have to watch the film of Neil busking The Old Laughing Lady outside Glasgow Central station as well - mustn't forget that!